“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.” - Leo Buscaglia
Dr. Leo Buscaglia was a teacher in the Department of Special Education at the University of Southern California. In the late 1960s, he started a class about what is possibly the most difficult and all-encompassing concept that all humans encounter and few master. His class was Love 1A. Buscaglia often said that he did not teach the class, he merely facilitated the group of students who came to talk about the human experience and share their knowledge, memories, and questions about love. He shared some of the stories from what turned into one of the most popular classes on campus in his many books on the subject of love, including ‘Love’ and ‘Living, Loving, and Learning’, ‘Loving Each Other’, and ‘Born for Love’. As he became a New York Times bestselling author, he was also in-demand on the speaker circuit. Buscaglia was especially a favorite for PBS lectures and pledge drives, sharing his stories and message of love around the world. His message was that to be human was to love. Love was to be given, freely, without demands. Giving love made the world a better place. We all have plenty of love to share and everyone is better when we do that. He spoke about memories of love and how they help when dealing with death. He wrote a fabulous book called ‘The Fall of Freddie the Leaf’ which was marketed as a children’s book, but has a powerful message for anyone questioning death or struggling with grief. Leo Buscaglia had an enthusiasm for life, love, and the humans that live it. He became know as ‘Dr. Hug’ due to the emphasis he placed on our need to reach out and touch someone. He declared hugs as being necessary for our mental health, be it giving or receiving them. I think this is still true today. Even though we have become so careful about touching each other, hugs, when allowed, still feel like the best way to share our human-ness and love.
During her time in the White House, Michelle Obama was known as the ‘Hugger-In-Chief’. She was known to hug everyone to make them feel at ease and welcomed at America’s House. She even hugged Queen Elizabeth of England, which was a breach of protocol. No worries, though. You can tell by her legendary arms; her hugs are awesome. Obama is still well-loved throughout the country for her easy-going manner and a compassion that can be felt. Hugs can do that. Other famous huggers include John Sexton, former president of New York University, Lady Gaga, Judah Friedlander, and Hindu humanitarian and revered “hugging saint”, Amma, who is said to have hugged over 40 million people. I think it’s safe to say that Leo Buscaglia started something with his hugging enthusiasm, and I, for one, am so glad that it has continued.
In 1984 I was invited by a friend of mine to attend a lecture given by Dr. Leo Buscaglia. I had never heard of him before, so she loaned me a copy of his bestseller, ‘Love’ that was written in 1972. I was so taken by the stories told by this university professor, I obtained a copy of his latest book, ‘Living, Loving, and Learning’ to get more of his feel-good words into my soul. I was a teacher’s aide at the time, and Dr. Buscaglia’s stories of connecting with people touched a part of me that was longing to become the best educator I could be. I was enthralled by this idea of caring about students and starting with relationship as a way to begin teaching them. This way of communicating and working with the kids in my classroom, as well as my colleagues, made me an effective educator and valuable co-worker, and nurtured the desire in me to become a teacher later in life. I claimed Leo Buscaglia’s excitement for living and passion for loving others as part of my own personality that continues to serve me well to this day.
I remember the lecture that my friend and I attended as having a profound impact on me, not because it was the first time my little country-bumpkin self had traveled to the big city, to a college campus, to see a lecture, but because of his enthusiasm in delivering his simple message about such a complex concept. Buscaglia spoke of how the concept of love for him began with his family. I could relate. My family also had dinner together every night. Those memories are still shared among my siblings whenever we get together. Those were moments we shared and laughs we had and memories we cherish when we talk about our growing up years. That was love. When Dr. Buscaglia began to speak about his students and how his compassion for them made their lessons so much richer, I thought of my own students and how connecting with them made our curriculum so much easier to get through. And when Leo started talking about how loving ourselves was just as important as loving others, indeed, the only way we could actually begin to do so successfully, I was moved to tears. He seemed to be speaking to me directly. By giving myself the tender care I deserved, I was able to be a more tender giver to my fellow humans. By the time his talk was over, I knew I would stand in that line as long as it took to be able to tell him thank you and, of course, give him a hug. Hugging was Leo’s signature move and he would stay after his lectures and hug anyone who asked for one. These many years later I can still tell you, it was worth the wait.
Today I continue to embrace the enthusiasm for life’s little joys that I learned from reading books by Leo Buscaglia. Rustling in the leaves of fall, breathing in the cold, silent air that comes with a snowfall, skipping through a yard to see a spring garden, and dancing in the sweet smell of a summer rain, I am often looked at as a crazy person, but my cup of joy is full. And when that cup is full, it is so much to share that joy with others. Some may not need it, but others may need it desperately. Leo said it takes courage in our culture to be a lover. I believe that is more true today than ever. I will hold these small happinesses and enjoy this human life. I will hug these moments so that I may see the human in you and celebrate it. And if it’s not too weird for you, and I have your permission, I may just hug you too.
❤️❤️