Permission

Lately I keep running across the term nervous system. I learned in Biology class about the parasympathetic nervous system and the sympathetic nervous system, but I couldn’t understand why all of a sudden I was being bombarded with instructions to take care of these systems my body used to regulate itself.

I’m not ready to go all scientific this week, but I noticed something familiar stopped working. I want to share something I found that helped.

Trying to get a consistency going with an exercise habit has proved to be harder than I thought it should. Reflecting on what the problem might be, I had read lots of books about habits. (Thank you James Clear and Gretchen Rubin!) I eliminated all the factors I could and still wasn’t able to make it to the treadmill right inside my house. I needed something more.

If the weather, my appearance, and the time were no longer an issue, what could be keeping me from starting this activity that would have so many benefits in my life? I believed I was worth it. I believed I needed to do it. Why not just get up and start?

Did you know I’m a rule follower? I’m the person who clicks a computer key and waits for it to do its job. I don’t quickly tap it ten more times, impatiently watching for the command to be executed. I turn off my phone in the movies. I stand in lines, often offering my place to others who seem to need quicker service. I’ll sit at a red light at 2am when there is no traffic anywhere.

It seems I need permission. I felt like someone needed to tell me it was okay to exercise. It’s a self-worth thing. This is something that can be addressed with permission.

Living on my own, with no one to ever answer to, I am solely responsible for all the decisions I make. If I bring home an outdated yogurt from the grocery – my fault. If I pay my bills on time – my win. Win or lose, I am responsible for me. If I give myself permission and things turn out, that’s great! But if my decision turns out to be a stinker, it’s my bad.

No one but me is making the call and no one but me is suffering the consequence. No wonder I’m a bit skittish to give myself permission.

As I reflected on permission, I remembered: I make good decisions.

So why couldn’t I get to the treadmill?

Needing permission seemed too simple. I needed to connect that with my issues of self-worth, self-trust, and self-esteem. The three of those things are very delicately balanced.

I decided I was worth the time, effort, and energy to begin the daily exercise plan. I wanted to do it because I cared for myself that much. But, oh, did I trust myself to do it consistently since I knew I had started and stopped so many times before?

That’s when the voice finally spoke up and said, “Yes!”

I’ve been doing a great job with consistently getting on the treadmill. I’ve also been granting myself permission for a few other things. I’ve let myself take time for daily reading. I’ve let myself stay home when I wanted to stay home, and socialize when I wanted to socialize. And I’ve also been giving myself permission to practice being more open, honest, caring, and loving every day.

I guess since it was just me in the game, I never thought about permission. The difference it has been making with increasing my self-worth and self-trust is helping me gain momentum in creating the life I want to live.

Lots of my favorite people, here on Substack and out here in real life, are experiencing this in-between time of creating their life. I decided to create some Permission Slips for all of us.

I’m right with you for this. You can get on with what you want to do, need to do, or take a break. These Permission Slips are something we can both use to give our nervous systems a little grace as we continue on with life. When’s the last time you gave yourself permission? It could be today. Here’s one to get you started:

“You are allowed to separate work from worth.”

If that one helped, here’s the rest:

Permission Slips A small collection for the in-between

The funny thing I’ve learned about permission this week, you never know until you ask. Give yourself the gift to rest and reevaluate.

Give yourself permission.

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