Something of Value
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” - M. Scott Peck
Some how, in some kinda way, you have said or thought ‘the road less traveled’ in the past week. “What if I had made a different choice of dinner?”
“What if I had chosen the scenic drive home?”
“What if we really were just friends? “
What if you had made an opposite choice? What if you had journeyed the road less traveled?
It’s just a matter of solving problems. Making choices. Same thing.
‘The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values, and Spiritual Growth’ was written by M. Scott Peck, PhD, and published in 1978. A bestseller and a wonderful book. This is a great resource to review with Father’s Day coming up. Peck may sound like the guy you’d like to hear all this from, he has credentials to back it all up. But, just like a dad, you may find there are some topics you would rather not discuss with him, or hear what he has to say on the matter. And just like a dad, there are subjects that he himself may later change his own beliefs or ideas about. Let’s just hear him out. Remember, it was 1978.
‘The Road Less Traveled’ is Peck’s explanation of using discipline to solve problems. He asserts that life is all about solving problems and offers up some points for us to use to help. Dr. Peck begins his book with his now famous quote, “Life is difficult.” First sentence! He states that there are problems. And problems can cause uncomfortable feelings. This is where we get to grow, mentally and/or spiritually. We get a boost to our courage and our wisdom by solving problems!
Peck begins with ‘Discipline’. According to the book, the tools used to exercise discipline so we may use it to problem-solve are:
· Delaying gratification
· Acceptance of responsibility
· Dedication to truth
· Balancing
When I read this the first time, I had already become skilled with competencies in Acceptance of responsibilities and Dedication to truth. Back then I had some issues with Delaying Gratification and Balancing. Guess what? Still do! I found that to be very interesting, so I read more.
The second section, ‘Love’, basically boiled down to choosing the road less traveled. Make a different choice. Peck instructs us to define love as an action, not a feeling. He reminds us to always choose love.
Next, he takes the idea of choosing love bigger. This is the section for Growth and Religion. This is where he can get a bit too preachy for some, while others like his straightforward talk. Remember, just like a dad!
I pulled some good advice from the growth concepts, and moved on to the final section, ‘Grace’. This is where all the bombshells about ‘Balancing’ came out. This is what I had come for. Transition has been a major idea for me lately. Lots of observations and reflections. Dr. Peck says of Balancing:
“-the discipline required to discipline discipline.”
Yep. Read that one again. It’s awesome! Balancing is the discipline you have to use if you need to discipline your discipline. And you probably do! I know I did!
I read from ‘The Road Less Traveled’ that balancing is required for ‘conflicting needs, goals, duties, responsibilities, directions, etc.’ Yes. I’ll have some balancing please.
And we’re back to solving problems. We are called to use ‘the road less traveled’ viewpoints as we journey. Make choices. Choose love. And then we need to commit to our growth. Consider what values and beliefs we hold dear. We need to feel validated, valued. According to Peck, the main foundation of self-discipline depends on this feeling of being valuable. Our mental health is connected to validation, too.
This validation or value Peck writes about can be considered as the way you are validated by others. However, he goes on to say that it begins, more importantly, within. Your inner world. We need to value ourselves. You are worthy. And from this validation from within, this will be the foundation for valuing your time.
Your time is what you will give to in order to bring about your fulfilled life. But we must continue to grow over time. It is now when you will stand on your devotion to the beliefs and truths that you have developed and stretch. As we grow, as our opinions and beliefs grow, things change.
Our environments change, our relationships change, we learn to bend a little more. It’s not necessary to stand so rigid. Some say the only thing constant is change. Peck encourages us to consider the other path, the road less traveled. Maybe that is where our growth lies. Change. Choose. Transform!
‘The Road Less Traveled’ has some great advice, some good advice, and some advice you may not need. Your fulfilled life, whatever you determine that to be, will have problems. Life is difficult, as we read at the beginning of M. Scott Peck’s book. Solve those problems, build your courage and wisdom, and grow. Choose love. Honor the grace in you and the grace in others. This Father’s Day, Dr. Peck has left a great gift to us all. He said, “…value yourself”, and he also told us to value our time. And he gave us some tools to do both. And with these two gifts, we can do anything. Just like a dad!